so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
