Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You can't just leave with hair like that
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
