so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
