So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
