Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
