just come out here and I will go home with you...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
