dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
