My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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