I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
