Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
