On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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