I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
