You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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