That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
