It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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