Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
