is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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