Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
NoShamevember. You game?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
