Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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