u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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