hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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