You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
