Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
