Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
