What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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