So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
