My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
