I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
