I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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