What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
