hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
