Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
