I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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