My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
