she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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