No, you can still breathe under the balls.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
