did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Less talking, more tequila
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
