the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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