Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
