I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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