I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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