Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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