i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
