It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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