I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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