Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
