I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
