I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
