The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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