This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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