I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
